Section 1 – The Story
It was the final examination time in the year 1994. I was in the 6th Standard and my brother in the 4th. Like most parents, my mom and dad also wanted to motivate us kids, using one of those old and eternal tricks and hence they threw bait at us. If both of us were to secure the first rank in our respective classes that time in the exams, we would be presented with a carom board. Alas! The very imagination of owning one had made both of us start drooling.
Fast forward 2x and it was April 10th, the most awaited date for some and the most dreaded one for most othersJ. We brothers went to the same school for your information. Anyway, the results were out and it was a totally filmy scene in our house - the two brothers holding their heads high and flying their marks cards aloft with glee and joy-abandon. My parents were just too happy to learn that both their kids had topped the exams. We were greeted with all the praises, hugs and sweets. But in the midst of all this there was only one thing playing on our minds – The Carom Board! And hurray, we had at-last laid our hands on our prized possession!
During your academic years, generally for 16 long years, you would always want to outshine and outperform your own chummy, be it in the examinations, the quizzes, the running races, the talent competitions and what not! But in the end and more so in the retrospect, it would all be fair – competition-wise, judgment-wise and obviously result-wise because the whole environment in which these tests are conducted is quite transparent. You run faster = you stand on Podium-1, you perform better = you are the inter-school competition winner, you prepare/study/write better in the exams = you get the 1st Rank.
By now, I think you would have guessed that I am not going to talk about Physics here nor would even dream of challenging Albert Einstein or his Theory of RelativityJ.
Section 2 - The Viewpoint
In any contest, looking from the Winner’s perspective, he would obviously feel thrilled about his victory, which he understands (or should understand), is the result of his hard work/ merit/ talent/presence of mind and may be a bit of luck, if you may like it.
Again, in any instance, looking from the Loser’s standpoint, he would certainly be disappointed about his defeat, which he understands (or should understand), is the consequence of some lesser preparation/lesser merit/lesser talent and may be a little lesser luck.
And yet again in any situation, looking from the Evaluator’s angle, his job is pretty simple- all the rules would be put down and he just has to follow them in the fairest of ways to adjudge the rankings.
So in any kind of race in life, if the influencing parameters are all fair with a level playground, a precise yardstick and clear cut rules to compare any 2 persons, like a high school examination/competition, then it is very easy for everyone and more importantly for the 3 people concerned-Winner/Loser/Evaluator, to be quite sure that the success/failure was because of one’s efforts/abilities alone and not because of anybody else’s mercy or mistake or intuition.
But the problem arises when the situation gets a bit different and a little iffy – i.e., when the Evaluator’s instinct and sixth sense come to the fore, as it happens, say for example during our AppraisalsJ! To be reasonable to the Evaluator, his job becomes more complex in such scenarios because the set-up is unlike the high school examination.
Section 3 - The Theory
As kids and grown-ups alike, we always bother about the relative status or should I say we are forced to worry so! The very crux of life coerces us to a state of outclassing the next person and standing on the topLJ. This competition might be self-inflicted or system-imposed. It is surely not confined to just one single point or phase in our lives. It is a continuous process running throughout the lifetime starting from the womb, to school, to college, to career, to achievements, to social status, to sports, to wealth, to business, to politics, to each and every ‘comparable-affair’ and the list might never end until the tomb. It is an ever pervasive subject covering every child, every homemaker, every professional and to sum it up briefly – EVERY ONE.
All said and done, these kinds of competitions/struggles are certainly inevitable in the current-world framework and I dare not challenge this structure! J. Else, Charles Darwin would reply on my Facebook Wall - “The Fittest Bloke Survives:-P “
At this point, I would like to turn the attention towards the ‘end-effect’ of any result on a human mind rather than its practical-world implications. It is here that I would like to define 2 kinds of Relativities which can encompass Person, Place, Animal or ThingJ, but let me confine it to humans alone.
Absolute-Relativity: It can be described as comparing oneself against one’s own self. A graph would show ‘Triumphs’ versus ‘Time’ w.r.t the self alone covering diverse contexts in life. A Triumph can be success of any kind - materialistic or psychological, of any level - small or big!
Relative-Relativity: It can be described as comparing oneself against another person, which is ever existent in our society. The graph would obviously have two or more Y axes showing ‘Triumphs’ versus ‘Time’ on X axis, w.r.t all the ‘people in contention’, again covering various contests.
We know that eventually, there is a Winner, a Loser and an Evaluator in every case; sometimes the Evaluator might be an unknown/unseen entity, the God himself notwithstandingJ. The rule is simple - in the aftermath of any event, the Winner/ Loser himself should become the Evaluator, review the incident, clearly analyze the situation, identify the suitable Theory and attain the eventual goal of finding happiness. I have tried to explain it by citing a couple of very standard scenarios below.
Scenario 1: The self/system-imposed challenge in a ‘fair’ environment
On a very generic note, here, Winner/Loser should rather apply Relative-Relativity to check what went right and what not and strive for excellence, because the goal is clear and the rule is straight forward – ‘Do the best to be the best’. Applying Absolute-Relativity here would prove to be a mistake, for it hinders progress in such cases, as we can visualize. Nevertheless, it still does help in self-assessment based on the individual’s analytical ability. This kind of scenario would generally be prevalent throughout one’s academic life and specifically in professional sports.
Scenario 2: The self/system-imposed challenge in a ‘not-so-fair’ environment
In such circumstances, the better way is to employ Absolute-Relativity and investigate if there has been an improvement in the graph or not and act accordingly. Applying Relative-Relativity in this scenario would certainly disappoint the Loser more and it might prove detrimental to the Winner as well, because of the ‘unfair’ factors. This kind of scenario would generally be prevalent in almost all spheres of life and more so in one’s professional life.
Section 4 - Conclusion
To conclude it all, I thoroughly realize that this is a very ambiguous topic to say the least, transcending various phases in our lives. All ‘You’ or ‘I’ can do is - as an Individual - analyze the existent system, accept the reality and move on!
The eventual purpose of any act in life should be to find happiness, look ahead and march forward.
---HMV
